as I sit

and the deer walk the field

I watch

and as the coffee in my hand

spills in my lap

and the sounds of my frustration

startle the deer

I am wanting only gentleness in place of rage

and as the rain fills my shoes

and my discomfort begins to puddle

in the same way

I am wanting only gentleness to feel the rain

but I can't place it

the gentleness to feel the rain

or allow the deer to stay

it’s a concept I have yet to grasp

in any meaningful or practical way

I suppose these are the troubles of our animal

yes, these are the contents of our shame